update on my life

i guess you can say i fell off with writing. everytime i kept something inside, i had to write and let it out. its like my way of seeing my life & everything that it turned into. i've been through hell & back this past year, i feel like everything changed. i lost most of my bestfriends, alot of people turned out to be nothing like they said they were, & everything i had planned for this hectic life just blew up in my face. everything just changed, and on top of all that i feel in love & weve been through just about everything you could think of. i finally graduated & at one point i wanted to go to the airforce. now i dont know what the hell to do with myself now & days. it gets to a point where i almost want someone just to tell me what to do. if i would have known when i was younger how hard shit would be today, maybe i wouldnt have been in a rush to grown up. i would have actually took the time to enjoy not having to worry, & just been a kid. but now that i really think about it, when was i ever a kid, i grew up fast, not by choice but because thats how it was. growing up wasnt easy. some people think of me as shut off, or heartless, but thats really the wall i built to keep them all out. this wall has been years of suffering, fights, disappointments, & hard times...even if i wanted to tear it down, i wouldnt know where to start. sometimes the best thing for me is forgetting. the less i remember the better off i am. unfortunately that caused me to forget how to trust. i know that has alot to do with myself, so i cant really blame anyone for that. so for this update on my life, lets just say that ive learned alot. ive grown up & i finally understand. the more you try to keep your life on track, the harder it is. well til thought meets blog again, be safe & god bless.

-sint*



advice of the day: they say when your going through hard times the best thing is to talk to someone about it....what do you do when you realize you cant trust anyone? i learned that sometimes the best thing to do is try to handle it on your own. im not saying keep it bottled up inside, im saying just keep your composure. the more you think about a problem logically, the better off you are at figuring out a less painful solution.