my cross roads....

how is it possible to come to a point in your life, where your stuck at a crossroad? your stuck between being the person you want to be && the person you are. sometimes im at loss of words, when i try to explain the difference ive seen in myself && even others around me. im stuck remembering times, when things were stress free && made sense. i mean how the hell can one day it just be different, when you can swear on everything, nothing changed? i hate to admit that im a different person now, from when i was younger, but i realized its one of those uncontrollable situations in life. but to tell you the truth i dont even know when this battle with my self occured, or if its been hidden deep inside. but sometimes i feel like im constantly having to make up reasons why i am the way i am. i dont know, i dont think ive ever known. somewhere along the way i lost myself. && you know what makes it even more fucked up? i dont even know when that happend. i just want to know when everything got all screwed up... i guess you can say im still drifting on memories, of times where i felt most like myself. but who am i now anyways? right? people think i got all the answers, && none of the problems, but if they really knew how screwed up i am, maybe they would tell me what to do for a change. people use to ask me all the time, "sint, why did you start this blog?" "how can you tell everyone everything about you?" && i tell them all the same thing, its an escape from myself, from all my fucked up thoughts, && never changing disappointments. writing to me, is like breathing to you. it keeps me going. it keeps me sane. i think its so ironic, that when someone has a problem, i can tell them everything to make it better, but when im stuck, i couldnt think of one thing to save my life. && i guess thats where the problems at. i cant open up completely about myself, not because im scared to be judged, but because im scared to face myself. so til i get the balls, to know the real me, i will be there to help. but i guess that just me. well til thought meets blog again. be safe && god bless.

-sint*

advice of the day:

sometimes the biggest critic you have, is yourself. when your able to except who you are, then you can start to give a damn about what others think. just dont loose your self trying to figure out who you are. because then you will be stuck at a crossroad like me.