you know what? when i started this blog, i thought i was going to be able to use this as a way to vent, to finally have that chance to say exactly how i feel. alot of people write me, saying how i inspire them && give them something to relate to. but the truth is, im just speaking from experience. i had no idea that writing about my problems, help others cope with theirs. && even though im greatful that people have interest in what i write, i cant sugar coat anything, i write from my heart. && chances are ,most of the stuff i write about are people that have meaning in my life good or bad, && it hurts me more to say what they might not want to hear. so what do i do change the words? i lie to myself && everyone who reads this? i want whoever reads my blogs, to know exactly how i feel && know exactly what im thinking. because what i write is exactly how i feel. && honestly the blog about my dad was the hardest one to write. but to my suprise everyone loved it. && alot of people even thanked me for writing it, they said it was stuff they just needed to hear. but after writing it, people were hurt by what i wrote. for instance my dad ended up reading the one about him && hes hurt because of some of the things i wrote, && now for the 1st time, me && my baby sister are not on the same page. because through her eyes she cant understand how i could ever say anything bad about dad. && to tell you the truth im hurt by the fact that she cant support me on this. shes backed me up 100% on everything, && now she just wont stand behind me on this. but at the same time, i wish i could have that . not being able to have one bad thing to say about him, shit i would love that. but we have both have our different perspectives on dad. shes had him all her life, && i never had that security. && to tell you the truth i dont think she could fully understand the difference. i just want her to understand, i could have easily wrote exactly what he wanted to hear, i could have easily pretended that this never bothered me, && acted like everything was ok. but im not going to do that. im not going to lie to myself && all of yall, because what im saying isnt butterflies && rainbows. im sorry for the fact that my sisters feelings got hurt, && im sorry that she cant understand why i feel the way i feel. i just want everyone to kno that my dad is not a bad person! && i wasnt trying to make people think that. i wrote that blog on my personal experience thats based off of my relationship with my dad, while growing up. i love my dad && god knows hes tried. && yea maybe it wasnt like a movie with my dad && my mom married, but hes still my dad. for the people hurt by my blog. im sorry you feel that way. dad, im sorry. but im not going to take it back. i promised myself when i started this blog that it was going to be me 100%. so take it or leave it. i really dont know what else to tell you. til thought meets blog again. be safe && god bless.
-sint*
advice of the day:
"you can judge whatever you want in this world, but you have no right to tell someone how to feel. yea it might not be what you wanted to hear, but maybe it could be just what you needed to hear-sint"
HELL YEA SINT U KEEP IT REAL IF ITS HOW U FEEL ITS HOW U FEEL! N LIKE I SAID B4 I CANT SAY WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE TO NOT HAVE A FATHER AROUND BECAUSE MINE WAS ALWAYS WITH US [JUST LIKE UR SISTER] N UR RIGHT THERE IS NO WAY I OR N E ONE WHO HASNT BEEN IN UR SHOES CAN SAY HOW N WHAT U SHOULD FEEL... UR SO BRAVE TO TELL EXACTLY WHAT U FEEL.. I WISH I COULD BE MORE LIKE U N KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS MY SELF AS U DO... I LOVE U BLOGS N I LOVE THAT THIS IS ALL FACTS NO SUGAR COATING! KEEP IT UP MA ...
ReplyDeletepoohbear! what could i tell you that could change your mind or they way you feel? not a damm thing. only this i tell you when my dad was a live he always said that our worst judges will be my kids because they're are then ones that suffer and they are the ones who who will be the ones to question you.remember mija i too as from divorced parents and i was already around 11 years old the only difference is that my dad divorced my mom not his kids.so i thank my dad for me and you for being there for me and you. pops we love you and miss you terribly where ever you are now. at least you can tell your dad you love him anytime you want cause he's still to here. but its never too late to make things right you just have to want and to all the ones who are booty hurt you know what they say the truth hurts and you can ignore it for a while but it always comes back and bites you in the ass so if you really care fix it will be hard but trust me it will be worth it. love always your #1fan mom
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